Wedding Etiquette

I know absolutely nothing about wedding etiquette. At marthastewartweddings.com they answer many a question about wedding etiquette, from the invitation (wording, time, how to stack each piece correctly, etc.) to the budget (who pays for what, when to tip, how much to tip, etc.).

Here is some of the things I did not know. It is so specific!

Money: Traditionally, the bride's family, if they are hosting, covers the cost of mostly everything. Church, reception room, flowers, food, music. The groom's family then is responsible for the rehearsal dinner. They are also "traditionally" responsible for the corsages and boutenniere's of the immediate family members (did not know this!). The groom is then responsible for...the bride's bouquet ("flowers for his 'date'"), boutenierre's for the groomsmen, groomsmen gifts, marriage license fee, officiant fee, wedding rings and honeymoon. I would love to know what Alex would think of all of that. He would probably pay for all that if I asked him to. :) Nowadays, some couples pay for their own wedding and in some cases the bride and groom families split the entire bill. Etiquette is more tradition than anything I think, especially since weddings are evolving into a more individual decision.

Attire: Strapless dresses are considered formal and should be avoided for any wedding that will occur during the day. White ties are also reserved for formal or evening weddings. Thank goodness that the tradition is changing so that brides can do whatever they want. I know so many girls whose dresses are strapless, and they are getting married during the day. Not like it really matters...The only way I could see it being an issue is if a place of worship had a certain dress code. My dress is strapless, and the time for the wedding is 8:00 in the evening. No worries for me.

Invitations: The abbreviation "am" or "pm" should not be mentioned on the invitation. The only time the distinction needs to be made is if the wedding is at 8, 9 or 10 in which you would note either "in the evening" or "in the morning." I would hope that no wedding would take place at 10 at night but do whatever you want, I suppose. The registry should not be included in the invitation at all. The trend of providing an envelope and stamp for the RSVP is not tradition or etiquette, only convenience for the guest. It is not rude to ask them to mail a note in, or email, instead of providing the envelope. Printed labels are a "no-no." Invitations should be hand addressed.

So either this is just stuff you pick up from going to many weddings, or from having a wedding where the families abide by this like the Ten Commandments. I am so glad it's acceptable these days to do whatever you want. I'm sure allowing the groom and groomsmen to wear Converse tennis shoes during the ceremony is not proper etiquette. ;) Who cares?!