Father's Day

It goes without saying that this Father's Day was among one of the most difficult days for Alex since his dad passed away. The first without his dad, and the first one where he actually remembered it was Father's Day. He told me that before this year, he wouldn't remember it was Father's Day until he called his mom and she reminded him. Unfortunately, we didn't think about it before he left for the summer, and therefore, didn't make it the priority that it should have been. There were some issues with him coming home that could have been avoided had we decided ahead of time what we were going to do. But they all got worked out, he was still able to spend time with his stepmom, and we were able to eat lunch with my family.

What I never knew was that Alex's dad didn't really like Father's Day. He didn't like being treated extra special that one day just because it was claimed Father's Day. He wanted Alex to act like he always did and not go out of the way to do anything special just because of the day. Alex would normally call his dad about midday and talk to him just like normal. He really missed being able to talk to him.

At church Sunday morning, one of his professors from school and one of the praise team members asked me how he was doing. I explained as best as I could understand. He told me something that I had never thought of. He said, "Well, Rebecca, you know he will feel like this every year on Father's Day until he is a father himself. Then it will mean something completely different. I always thank [my wife] on this day because she made me a father." When I told Alex that later he just nodded his head. I'd asked him before what he would think if, later down the road when we're ready to have kids, I told him I was pregnant on Father's Day. He didn't like it so much...We talked on Sunday what he would like to do on Father's Day when he's a dad, and he said he wanted it like any other day. Just like his dad. Not that it's anywhere close but I was just curious. I figured maybe talking about having kids would cheer him up a little.

It's been a struggle for me since his dad died because when Alex is having a rough day, I never know what to say. I especially didn't know what to say on Sunday. But he told me I helped him out a lot by just being with him when he was in town, and going with him to see his stepmom. He also had quite a surprise when he went back to camp on Sunday night. All the staff had written notes of encouragement on a Coca Cola can for Alex. He felt so loved. I am so thankful that he has Fuge camp. Although it's difficult for me, I know he is definitely in his element and he is always surrounded by people who love him.