So far, my Spring Break has been very different than what I expected. I had been planning on going to Virginia with SMB, but that fell through about a week ago. :( Don't get me wrong--it's been going well so far and let's be real, I've only technically been on Spring Break since yesterday. Yesterday I sat in a parking lot studying for a test that's after Spring Break, piddle-farted around the mall, ate lunch at Panera and continued studying for my test, picked up my wedding dress, went to CRU, worked out and then saw Alice in Wonderland. I shouldn't be complaining since I didn't have class yesterday, Wednesday or today. But deep down I'm kind of sad that I'm not going to a beach. I've never been to a beach on Spring Break and I feel like I am being deprived! No, I don't want to go to Panama City or Destin and drink beer all day with a bunch of college students. But I would like to be able to go to the beach with my girlfriends and relax, instead of staying in Chattanooga studying for a test...I have to make the best of it though. So tomorrow, Sarah and I are going to Atlanta to peruse Ikea and Lenox Square Mall. Then Sunday, Sarah and I are going hiking somewhere in Chattanooga. I don't want to feel deprived of a college experience just because I don't go to a beach. Rebecca, get over it!
Last night at CRU, Jason talked about Christian men, or being a Godly man. One thing he pointed out was that Christian men today or even men in general, not necessarily believers are a generation of weak men, who don't take responsibility for their actions or their life. They spend their time playing video games, or watching action movies or drinking, instead of furthering their relationship with God and taking action in their lives. He referenced the story of David, Bathsheba and Uriah from 2 Samuel, mentioning that while David did sin, he took responsibility for his actions when Nathan confronted him about it. From both David and Nathan, men can learn lessons about being a man of God. 1) From David, take responsibility for you sin. Confess and repent and embrace the forgiveness from Jesus Christ. 2) From Nathan, don't be afraid to stand up for the truth and to do that you must know the truth and spend time in God's word.
This made me feel so blessed and lucky to have Alex. While he is not perfect, he is a man of God. We had a difficult conversation a few nights ago about what our engagement means and what we should be doing differently. He was so honest with me about where God is leading him and being a spiritual leader saying that if that's what God is leading him to, I have to be willing to accept that. Lately I have not been accepting. My view of what engagement looks like is changing. Instead of focusing so much on us and spending a lot of time together, we should be spending more time with God, together and apart, learning how to love each other the way God loves us. The reason God created marriage is to be a representation of Jesus' love for the church. So that means me being willing to let Alex go with SMB and being a prayer warrior for them. It means me planning while he is gone so we can have that kind of life. It means me listening to what God is telling me and going where I'm supposed to go. That conversation really showed me that Alex is more committed to God than to me, which is ultimately a man of God.
Praying for SMB and Molly as they lead worship for students in Virginia!
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