Why has it been forever since I've blogged? School. That has been the top of my to-do list since August and blogging fell off the to-do list. Oops. Not to mention I've had a wedding to plan. Speaking of...

I looked up the weather today for the wedding...60 % chance of rain. Woop de doo. Oh well.

I bought 3 oz containers for toiletries that I can take in my carry on. Alex and I will be flying on our honeymoon, but we're just going to carry on our bags for convenience sake. However, it's not so convenient when you have to go buy more stuff to put your stuff in because TSA has so many regulations. Their catchy phrase is "3-1-1," which means 3.4 oz or less, in one 1-qt size ziploc bag, in one carry on. However, as you probably know, shampoo and conditioner does not come that small. Lucky for me, I love to pack, especially when it's for my HONEYMOON, so having to do a few more things isn't shaking me.

If you're wondering about the honeymoon...I am too! Ha! It is a surprise. Alex has planned everything, thank the Lord for my fiance! :) Here's what I know:

1) Staying in Chatt-town for the wedding night, then waking up to go to his graduation (don't call me crazy, I know I am) at 10 am, lunch with his family then we're peacing out!

2) We're driving somewhere with similar weather as Chatt to stay a couple of nights.

3) We're driving to the airport, then flying to a beach out of the country!

I'm pumped. I am so excited to get away. Wedding planning this week pushed me over the edge. There's just so little time and things I thought I wanted like cutesy D.I.Y. stuff are just being cut. It's not important, and no one will remember it if it is there-not even me, so I hear! I'm trying my hardest to enjoy everything. When my finals are over Friday I'll be able to relax and little bit more. It's very stressful knowing how much I have to do, plus school is still hanging around.

I just pray and hope that I can truly remember everything and enjoy everything. I don't want to be hung up on stupid things and get irritated on my wedding day because something doesn't go my way. I see lots of bubble baths in my plans for next week to relax me. As for now, even though I have an exam at 8 I'm going to pack a little for the honeymoon and watch an episode or two of 'Friends'!

A Home

Alex and I are in search for an apartment. Finding one within our price range and with everything we need is tough. We started looking in May, then Alex went to camp, so we've started looking again. We found a couple of places but we're not sure if they'll be available when Alex wants to move in.

The one we're really liking right now is pretty cool. It's a gated apartment complex which I believe is a one and only in Chattanooga. There's a washer and dryer in every unit. That would save us money for a laundry mat and let us wait until we have a more permanent residence to buy a w/d. It's close to the interstate which can get us downtown in about 15 minutes, to East Brainerd in about 15 minutes, the mall in about 7 minutes...It's a newer building with new carpet and nice cabinets and appliances. It's so clean and quiet. We love it.

I just want Alex to move in now so we can set it all up!

I always cry at weddings.

I'm not sure if it's seeing the bride all dressed up and ready to marry her man, or all the beautiful wedding party, or all the beautiful flowers just there for the wedding, or seeing the parents cry and sniffle, or watching everyone walk down the aisle. But I have been to three weddings this summer and have cried or atleast teared up at every one of them.

The first was my future-brother-in-law's and I cried when I saw his mom and stepmom crying. It was bittersweet for them to let the baby go. The bride was beautiful and Alex looked so handsome.

The second was one of my best friends from high school, and I was a bridesmaid. I cried, like tears-rolling-down-my-face-and-having-to-have-a-tissue-for-my-nose cried, at the rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner, before the ceremony, as I was walking down the aisle, during the ceremony and at the reception. This wedding I know that seeing her dad walk her down the aisle was the kicker. She and her dad are very close and they joked the whole weekend about how he couldn't cry otherwise she'd turn into a bawling mess. Of course, he cried, but she held it together some how. :) It was also seeing her in her wedding dress, looking absolutely radiant and so happy to see her husband. I've known both of them so long and Molly has been there for me so many times. I was just so happy to see them finally get married and to be there through everything.

The third was this past weekend. Alex's best friend since forever married a wonderful woman whom I've known for almost a year. The groom is a friend of mine as well (since high school) and has been with Alex and me through SO much, and I've gotten to know the bride really well over the time we've had together and she is so dear to me now. I just knew that I was going to cry. But this time it was because of more than just the outward things that go with the wedding (dress, flowers, etc). The day was beautiful. No clouds in the sky, barely humid during the late morning and early afternoon, the sun was warm but not blazing. When I heard Jon the night before at the rehearsal, I just knew I was going to cry. He was so serious and honest and genuine by his tone of voice and the way he looked at Lizzy. There was a wave of beauty over the whole thing. Lizzy was so beautiful and each one of the bridesmaids looked beautiful and happy and natural. Jon was handsome and so were each of the groomsmen. I think most of it was the smiles that everyone had on their faces the whole day. I cried because Jon had the biggest smile on his face when he saw her walking down the aisle to him. Again, the smiles!

Of course, I couldn't help this whole summer but get more and more excited about my wedding after each wedding that I went to. I tried my best to completely focus on the people who were getting married and to make it about their day. But what's a wedding if it doesn't remind you of your own vows you've said or will say? Since Alex didn't have to rush back to camp after this last wedding, we had a lot of time to discuss our's. He was so taken back by how beautiful the ceremony was at Jon and Lizzy's. I don't think he expected to feel that way, and it made me so happy because it made me realize he's ready and he's excited about wedding planning now! We talked the whole way home about our's and what we want to do and what we don't want to do. I've never been this excited to get married!

God Provides

This summer I have been reminded over and over that God provides! When my dinosaur-of-a-digital-camera is about to croak, Alex brings home a nice digital camera that was in lost and found all summer (btw, no memory card and camera is dead). When I have just payed off my credit card and have almost no money in my checking account and I go to my roommate's birthday party---someone offers to buy my dinner, and won't take no for an answer! When I asked God for quality time with my girlfriends, I had three girl nights in one week, and that happened more than once! When I begged God for a way out of spending so much money on the wedding, he gave us a contact for a cake baker who can give us a deal that is 50% less than any other bakery! When I asked God to provide Alex with support and comfort for all the change in his life, he meets 15 new friends at camp who jump right into his life and encourage him everyday! When I asked God to give me a love for his word, he did.

I could keep going...I am so overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness and unbelief that my life would be so blessed by my heavenly father! Not to say this summer has been perfect. Ask Alex-he'll tell you I struggled, and he struggled as well. But God gave us resources to get through and we've made it through!

I'm not scared for what marriage is going to bring. I'm not nervous about financial issues or the "what ifs" anymore. I am confident that even through difficult times, God will show his glory and we just have to give it right back!

Crazy Love

I just finished reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan this week. It's really making me challenge myself and make me remember my love for living simply! He describes in the book his church and that their budget is 50/50. They work with 50% and the other 50% goes to a donation. His thought is that they should sacrifice so that they are allowing others to have just as much as they have. I love that idea. I hope that Alex and I can live that way. Chan challenges the readers of his book to live radically-even when that means being called crazy.

Alex has also been convicted of this simple living idea while he's been at camp. He thinks differently about buying clothes and things that he "needs." He wants to buy less stuff and give more away.

Could I have met a more perfect match for my life? I was so encouraged by Alex telling my what's been on his heart because it's been on my heart too. Just think of what God can do through us, through our small offering! I'm praying for something great to happen as we start preparing our life together!

Father's Day

It goes without saying that this Father's Day was among one of the most difficult days for Alex since his dad passed away. The first without his dad, and the first one where he actually remembered it was Father's Day. He told me that before this year, he wouldn't remember it was Father's Day until he called his mom and she reminded him. Unfortunately, we didn't think about it before he left for the summer, and therefore, didn't make it the priority that it should have been. There were some issues with him coming home that could have been avoided had we decided ahead of time what we were going to do. But they all got worked out, he was still able to spend time with his stepmom, and we were able to eat lunch with my family.

What I never knew was that Alex's dad didn't really like Father's Day. He didn't like being treated extra special that one day just because it was claimed Father's Day. He wanted Alex to act like he always did and not go out of the way to do anything special just because of the day. Alex would normally call his dad about midday and talk to him just like normal. He really missed being able to talk to him.

At church Sunday morning, one of his professors from school and one of the praise team members asked me how he was doing. I explained as best as I could understand. He told me something that I had never thought of. He said, "Well, Rebecca, you know he will feel like this every year on Father's Day until he is a father himself. Then it will mean something completely different. I always thank [my wife] on this day because she made me a father." When I told Alex that later he just nodded his head. I'd asked him before what he would think if, later down the road when we're ready to have kids, I told him I was pregnant on Father's Day. He didn't like it so much...We talked on Sunday what he would like to do on Father's Day when he's a dad, and he said he wanted it like any other day. Just like his dad. Not that it's anywhere close but I was just curious. I figured maybe talking about having kids would cheer him up a little.

It's been a struggle for me since his dad died because when Alex is having a rough day, I never know what to say. I especially didn't know what to say on Sunday. But he told me I helped him out a lot by just being with him when he was in town, and going with him to see his stepmom. He also had quite a surprise when he went back to camp on Sunday night. All the staff had written notes of encouragement on a Coca Cola can for Alex. He felt so loved. I am so thankful that he has Fuge camp. Although it's difficult for me, I know he is definitely in his element and he is always surrounded by people who love him.

Summer Time

I have thoroughly enjoyed my summer so far. I can't believe a month and a half have already gone by. I have worked most of it, but I have come to enjoy my job, as I feel more comfortable each day. It's crazy to look at someone's shot record and see that I gave them a shot back in May. While it has gone by fast, May feels like such a long time ago. I don't want to wish my summer away, however, Alex is only starting his second week of camp, out of eight...I hate not being closer to him, especially when I have time off. It will be nice to have him all to myself the first week and a half of August before he starts student teaching.

Riverbend is happening. It's so relaxing to just sit by the river and listen to good music. Once you get past all the people, it's not so frantic. I'm looking forward to spending more time at the pool with friends and spending time with Alex, when he is able to come home for the weekend or I'm able to visit there.

I'm still working on wedding plans. The next big goal is to nail down a florist. So far, I've been to two, and may go to a third. Both have shown me mock-ups of what the bouquets would look like with the flowers I want, and I know no matter who I go with, they will be beautiful! The next is the cake, which is pretty much decided, we just need to get it in paper. After the florist, I think I'll get the invitations ordered so I can have them addressed or ready to address before school starts. I'm praying that no one moves. It will just make it so much easier on me this coming semester. My mom and I will venture to Ikea of Atlanta soon to gather decorations for the reception. I love Ikea and she is so looking forward to it.

On a sadder note, a wonderful friend from school is going through a very difficult time. Almost a week ago, her brother and father were in a terrible boat accident, leaving them both unconscious. I'm not quite sure of the details but they are both still in the hospital. Every day we've had tiny bits of good news. One of my favorite things I've heard is that my friend commented on her brother's facebook, talking about how he and her dad both squeezed her hand yesterday. I just cried knowing that it was so encouraging to Camille. Healing requries a lot of waiting that is so difficult for friends and family. We're still praying Tyson and Mr. Ed!